Pathetic?

Is it pathetic that I stay at home and take care of the kids? Am I less of a person because I do not make much more than $60 a month? I am dependent on my husband's ability to bring home a paycheck. Is that bad? I've come to the realization that there are many people out there that would answer "yes" to these questions. I don't recommend staying at home for everyone. I'm aware that it isn't for everyone. (In fact, sometimes I wonder if it's really for me.) I am a huge advocate of making your own decision with regard to the issue. Truth be told, my husband and I stumbled into this, when I got laid off, while pregnant. Childcare simply became too expensive to contemplate while trying to be financially responsible. That being said, am I kidding myself that I'm making a statement in my kids lives? I thought I was giving them something, by being at home. Apparently not? My husband's schedule, during the week is horrid. He often works long hours, with a commute of over an hour on top of it. I always felt that by staying at home, I was reducing some of his stress over home issues; taking care of financial matters, groceries, errands, etc. so that we can spend more time as a family on the weekends. I like to think that I'm offering the children some extra stability in light of their father's week-day hours. According to some, this must all be a pretty pathetic attempt at dodging fiscal responsibilty and life, in general???

I am my own person. I have a college degree. I have interests outside my family. I've been elected by a body of more than 700 people to a national church committee. I'm on 3 such committees, as well as having district and local church responsibilities. I give voice lessons and direct a children's choir. I love to read and cook; I am learning cake decorating, sewing, and yoga. I love being a wife. I love being a mother to my children. I also love being me. -Those things are part of being me, but they're not everything. I have And yet ... When people see "stay at home mom" I'm suddenly a pathetic woman who is incapable of supporting herself and completely dependent on others.

I don't know whether to feel sorry for individuals with these opinions, or to get angry and start shouting. Neither reaction is likely going to help. Will anything?? No. But should I be happy with this status quo? I don't think so. Where does this leave me? I don't know. All I really know is that I hope these folks are wrong.

Lifestyle

I don't really do New Year's resolutions. It's much of a coincidence, really, that the new year coincides with my resolve, this year. Several years ago, after the birth of my daughter, I dedicated myself to a more healthy diet. I have had more energy, felt better, and lost alot of weight. The last few months, though, well ... food took a dive. I knew I needed to re-dedicate myself to better eating, but also knew I needed to do more than just this.

I've been experiencing an increasing amount of headaches and other ailments (due to hormones, and various other reasons). Advil is the only option available to me, and not always effective, due to the nature of these headaches. (Tylenol makes me feel sick, and the only prescription I can takeknocks me out flat, leaving me unable to take care of the kids.) My husband and I both decided that I should try a more holistic approach. I let him know that it's much easier for me to do this if everyone is on board.

I've begun doing yoga, eating better, and trying to go to bed earlier. I had my first headache all month, yesterday. It was a doozy, and lasted all day. The kids had to watch movies, in the dark, but basics such as food and snuggles were covered. While I'm unhappy that the t.v. had to be resorted to, I am happy that this hadn't happened in weeks. Is my holistic approach working, or is this merely coincidence? I have no idea.

I plan to continue the lifestyle "conversion." I've already noticed that the yoga helps my daughter. She does breathing excercises, now, when she's frustrated with her lessons (home-school pre-school). It really helps her clear her mind and calm down, too! It helps me, too. (That is when my son doesn't decide to jump on my back, stepping on my hair, or kicking my head. --don't get me wrong, he isn't trying to be malicious, he thinks he's doing yoga, too.)

SO ... more yoga. Join a gym (hopefully this week). Lots of nutrient-rich foods, less processed food, smaller portions. Experiment with new foods and recipes, work on converting old ones with more natural ingredients. (I make wheat pizza dough, and add flax seed ... it's good! really. I promise. Today, I tackle Polenta again. My last attempt failed miserable, but I'm feeling optimistic)

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