I'm an Auntie!!

her picture is here

Words cannot express how happy for my brother and how excited I am to meet his daughter. (I get to meet her later today!)

making memories

We don't usually do the whole Mother's Day, Father's Day thing. We tend to focus more on our mom's on Mother's Day, and just try to make Father's Day a slow, no-stress sort of day. This year is an apparent exception. :-)

Last Saturday I had the pleasure of receiving my husband's Mother's Day gift. My husband made several appointments for me at a Spa. I'm sure this is to be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so don't get to too jealous.

As I walked into the building, I remember thinking to myself that the time would pass quickly, so I should enjoy it to it's fullest and make a good memory.

A good memory it is. An incredible memory.

It occurs to me that I should approach much of life this way...

Boring?

Mantra for the dedicated Mother: "I am not perfect. I will not be perfect. Where love and caring exist, I can be me; it will be okay."



This morning I was reading at abcnews and this article caught my attention. It talks about the myriad of responses over a piece that ran in the UK, "Does Raising Children Bore You to Death?" It was written by a stay at home mom. I have not read the actual article, but just a summary ... Needless to say there has been a flurry of response. One such response, "Your lack of parental love borders on child abuse." What!? I wish we could all be so perfect as to never be bored or incredibly un-stimulated by the day-to-day of raising children. The persons making these sorts of remarks (in large droves) need to come over and have a chat with me. Really. You are all invited to dinner. I will tell you about me, my children, my family, and my life in general. You must also stay long enough to watch interaction between me and my children, too. Then, and only then, will you be allowed to judge my parenting ability.

I'm not saying that I'm bored all day every day. Of course not. We have fun together. We paint, play play-dough, color, take walks, go on picnics, etc. But I am an adult. Making a car fall from my head for laughs gets boring after the first minute. Maybe I lack creativity? I can handle that accusation just fine.

Please don't tell me I am a bad parent, based on nothing more than an honest confession. A good parent is never bored? Wow. Then I know ALOT of bad parents. Funny, I've always felt those families to be good, well-adjusted, caring and well-balanced.

Really. To expect, or assume, that someone with my personality-type will always want to play with the kids, do the housework, and smile while I do it? Think again. I don't think I'm Mother-of-the-year, or anything. Hardly. I also don't think that I should "never have re-produced", as some of the comments towards the author of the article in question suggested. Another comment was, "There are some people who are like that. You know, anytime it takes away from themselves, they're not happy and they don't like it." I don't know this person, and I am trying not to judge, but it does not seem as though she understands the point. There's a difference between the selfishness that is being implied through this statement and the simple truth that there is a balancing act between you, the mom, and you the you. Taking away from yourself is not entirely healthy; it's taken me 3 years of staying home to understand this, embrace it, and attempt to do something about it.

Staying at home is the right thing for me and my family, right now. It would be incorrect to suggest that it is a proper and natural match to me. Ha! It has been difficult, to say the least. I am a social person. Outgoing. Extroverted. Staying at home in a nearly efficiency sized condo with 2 kids and a dog, day after day after day after day* ... is not good for me. There have been consequences to this decision that we (my husband and I) have learned we need to recognize and deal with.

Allow me to stress that I am not complaining. While I may lament upon the occasion (this is the last thing I ever thought I'd find myself doing ... I have mentioned the irony, once or twice**), I don't recall ever complaining. I think of the above rant as a statement of fact. Truth. While I may have fallen into this role, due to a lay-off, I did recently have an opportunity to apply for job. Being hired was a very good possibility. It would have been good for me to work again, and I was very interested in the position. I decided that it was not a good move for our family health. My husband agreed. I did not apply. I had a choice, I made it. I will not complain.

Does that mean I totally love being at home? Does this mean that being at home is the best place for me, the person, to be? No. Truthfully, it isn't. Do I get bored? yes. Does it matter that I get bored? No.

It isn't about me. It's about our children; our family. It's about raising our family to be what we feel it can be/should. My wants and needs are secondary to this. Anything less is what's selfish.


*Do not misinterpret. I am not shut inside our apartment all day everyday ... I do get outside .... with the kids ...
**God definitely has a sense of humor.

The dishwasher isn't me!

It's amazing how a dishwasher can become the high point of the day.

This Dishwasher is not mine, but imagine it's black and in my kitchen. --->

Our dishwasher broke almost a year ago. We probably could have called a repairman and had it fixed, but it was old and problematic, anyway. We* decided to simply leave it and start handwashing all the dishes.

On Monday our tax return came. I went out and bought a dishwasher. Yesterday, it was installed. It's pretty. It's new.

Our countertop is now towel-free and dish-free. I think that's what I like the best. Truth be told, I really didn't mind hand washing everything. We keep the dishes rinsed, so it's really not a big deal. What I minded was the resulting clutter on the countertop all the time. Our kitchen is miniscule in size and we need every bit of counter we can get!

In other news ...

Our bedroom windows have to be custom-fit. There's a company that our association recommends, and they are the most familiar with our needs. The kids had a small hole in their screen, which, of course, they put their hands through and made much larger. We've been putting off getting it replaced because we thought it would be quite pricey.** The guy came out and took the screen, Wednesday.*** It will cost us $25. Yep. I'm sure glad we held off sooo long on that one.

After the big dishwasher purchase, we went to Target.*** It was so nice to buy the kids more than to clothing items at once. Don't get me wrong -- most of was still from the clearance rack, or on sale at the very least. But they only need a few more items to set them for the summer. Unless they grow. ha.

We also hope to install new ceiling fans, this weekend. The one's in our rooms have been reduced to one speed only. Ours is fast and the kids is slow. In addition to this our fan has lights that do not work. Seriously. That's how bad the fans are. Last summer the lights stopped turning on. I have never heard of this happening, but sure enough ... there it is. My mom purchased some ceiling fans a few years ago, and then ended up not installing them. She said we could have them. How nice. My husband plans to pick them Saturday morning after his softball game. yay!

*I use the pronoun we loosely, here.
**We're not idiots, we had good reason to think that!!
***See above tax return comment.