the week in review

I realize I haven't posted in a week ... several times I would catch myself thinking, "ooo! I've gotta write this down!" However, by the time I'd have the opportunity to get to my laptop, I'd either have no memory of whatever it was I wanted to write about, or I'd be too tired to type and went to bed instead. SO ... what were these great, potentially prize-winning entries? I have no idea. Missed opportunities, and all that. Never fear, I'll get over the disappointment of loss. --I just hope you can, too. (hahaha .... I am so funny.)

Monday started well. I had the car for the day, and had many places to go; things to do. This would likely be the only day of the week in which I would have the car, so ... on your mark, get set, go!! 7:30 am, drive husband to train station. 7:50 am, try out new coffee shop- Conscious Cup. [Being a believer in fair trade coffee's (don't forget the chocolate!!) I absolutely loved this shop, and have already been there a second time!! (Equal Exchange is an excellent source for information and coffee orders, too) ]

After a coffee for myself and breakfast and juice for the kids, we were off! We went to the Library. --Now, here's a funny little story for you -- We used to go to the library on a weekly basis. We hadn't been there since just before Christmas, however, because (like an idiot) I was avoiding what I thought to be a large fine. I finally decided that I missed the library so much, and my daughter was missing it as well, that I would pay the darn thing, and move on with my life. $13. My avoided-the-library-for-7 months huge fine was $13. See the above idiot comment.

After the Library we were off to Walmart. (or was that before the Library?) I know, I know ... I shouldn't shop there, I know. (Target doesn't have a sewing & craft section and I didn't want to end up at Joann Fabrics.) Then, it was shopping at the local market -- Joseph's. They have great (and cheap) milk and fruits and veggies! Next stop Culver's!!! Whenever we spend so much time running all over the place, the kids get lunch out -- if they're good. :-) Their salads are soo good, and I always tell myself that I'll be good, and get one. I believe it, too ... but, somehow, when I'm verbalizing my order "cheddar burger" always comes out of my mouth. Darn. Yum. yum. yum. Sigh ... oh well. You win some, you lose some.

Thus concludes the crazies of Monday. After the exciting morning, there was children napping, mama cleaning, and LOTS of book reading.

Tuesday I know I didn't have the car. I know I had a library book to read. I don't remember, besides the usual bevy of cleaning and such, what we did. Sorry!

Wednesday was fun! My Mother-in-law and sister-in-law (ref. sister #2) came to play. They live a little over an hour away, and we don't see nearly as much of them as I wish we did. (note: I should explain--most readers may be shocked that I want my husband's mother to visit. We are friends. In fact, I will go so far as to say we are good friends. I talk to her and my toher sister-in-law more than my husband does. I guess I'm just lucky, that way!!!) With caution as to my Mother-in-law's health and energy levels, we set out for lunch. (At Culver's ... I was sooo bad, last week!) I always save the free kiddie sundae coupons, and Mom gave me sister #2's (she's 9), so I now have 5 free sundae coupons! YAY! Anyway -- after lunch, we went to our lovely downtown area for some meadering and (gasp!) shopping! I didn't really think any purchases would be made. Our downtown is just pretty to walk down ... boy, was I wrong! Shop, shop, shop. I should have known better. I was with Mom, afterall. We were joined by my husband's other sister (sister #1), and went into the local ice cream shop. Again, I say YUM! More shopping ensued. Sister #1 departed. Mom said she was doing okay, but could use a rest, so we headed to my new favorite coffee shop -- the aforementioned Conscious Cup. Home again, home again, rah rah rah ... we went home. The kids played. My mom called, and I invited her over for dinner. Dinner was nice. Sister #2, me and the kids, Mom in-law, and my Mom. pleasant. (Note: our mother's get along very well, and even enjoy each other's company. Another oddity, I think. Very neat, though.) My mom couldn't stay too long, though. After dinner she had to go home. Mom-in-law and sister #2 helped clean the toys up and everything, then left for sister #1's home, where they spent the night. (Unlike, us, she is able to provide bedrooms, beds, and privacy!!)

Since Thursday was awesome!!! I live in Crystal Lake my family gets into the beach for free. We may also bring 10 guests (per each resident adult)!! Sister #1 is a teacher, but is nanny-ing for the summer. She and "her kids", a friends of her's and "her kids", Mom in-law, sister #2, the kids and I all went to the beach! How fun. We picnicked, we played, we stayed for many hours. I even got to spend some quiet time (read: no kids around) reading on a blanket, in the shade. How perfect! After the beach, we went home for rest and to regroup. I made a strawberry cobbler, put together a salad, and off we went to sister #1's home for pizza. They just got a pretty new t.v. with surround sound. We were all captivated by Finding Nemo. It sure was pretty on the 'old HD. My husband joined us there, after work, and we all had a good time. :-)

Friday was spent cleaning and then chilling out at my mom's house. My husband picked us up, that night, and we went home.

Saturday I had a committee meeting to atend, in the morning. I came home, took a nap, and then had a real-live date with my husband. (read: no kids!!) My mom had agreed (on short short notice) to watch the kids so we could use some of the gift certificates we had been given for Christmas. Yes, Christmas. We enjoyed a wonderful meal at the Olive Garden, and then saw Pirates of the Carribean. (-----> sigh ... Johnny Depp ... grin)

Sunday started out with cleaning. (The place looked utterly trashed!) Then a nice family lunch out at Noodles and Company. (I heartily recommend the Thai Curry Soup) A quick trip to Joseph's and we were home again, for the kids naptime. I pitted cherries for a vanilla cherry cobbler, and took a very short nap. We packed food and ingredients and set off for the home of some good friends of ours. We cooked them a delicious dinner of fajitas, salad, and cherry cobbler, and had a great time talking.

END WEEK. This is why I was too tired to write. I'm hoping this week is a little bit slower, in pace. Last week was great, but I need some time to recoup!

God, send the angels ... Amen!

"...and for the daily bread and the hope of the peace and ..."

When my daughter was three and began to develop a fear of the dark, she wouldn't stay in her bedroom, at bedtime. Finally, having done everything I could possibly think of to reassure her that all was well, I remembered what another mom had told me she had tried (that had worked!). She had tried prayer. She had discovered that the only thing she could use to divert the attention of her son (the same age) was to pray with him. So, with this in mind, I told my daughter that we were going say a prayer to God, for Him to send angels to be with her especially at night time. It worked and she went to bed. Ever since that night, a year ago (?) we have prayed every night. (well, every night that she hasn't fallen aslepp in the car, first, or spent the night elsewhere...) That prayer has evolved from "God, please send the angels. Amen!" to something much more invloved and meaningful. -for both of us.

My husband has listened in and says (laughingly) that he thinks my prayers are full of propanganda. He's right ... they are; or can be. We start the ritual me tucking my daughter into bed, while I pray. "God, thank you for _______ (whatever neat or not so neat thing we did that day -- a reminder that the day was fun, darnit). Please help ____ (usually concerning the health of a very close relative). Let my daughter and son wake up in their own beds, in the morning, because they'll be in better moods for ____ (whatever thing I can think of that sounds like it might be worth attempting to not come into my room, in the middle of the night)." Nights when my husband isn't home from work, we pray for safe travels ... other events and items make appearances, too, but you get the general idea ... mostly mama propaganda. I giggle whenever I think about the first time my husband stood at the kids doorway and listened to the whole thing; thereafter rendering this opinion.

Anyway - after I say my prayer, my daughter says hers. Sometimes it's short. Sometimes I just jump in and say (loudly), "AMEN!" She grins and smiles at me to let me know she had absolutely been stalling for time. Often, she echos what I've said in my prayer and peppers it with some thoughts and/or concerns/happy thoughts of her own. Lately, she's taken to adding in the "daily bread," then she'll mutter something that ends in, "the hope," and tonight there was also something about, "the peace." A terrific prayer, really. But I can't stop giggling over it because these beautiful phrases are coming out of the mouth of a 4 year old.

My son is old enough now to realize something is happening, when I pray, and then when she prays ... so we've added a new step tp the ritual. I pray and tuck my daughter in. She prays, while I stand and watch. Then, I duck down to the bottom bunk and tuck in my son and tell God that "[My son] doesn't know how to pray yet, but if he did he'd thank you for his giggles and grins and thev winkle in his eye. He'd say thank you for his sister and his mama and his daddy. Amen!" Sometimes he says Amen, too ... He seems very satisfied with this addition to our lengthy bedtime routine. (I've only told you about the tucking in ... the routine/ritual starts WAY before that ... what can I say!? My kids seem to find routines very comforting!)

Silly meanderings of my mind ...

**Ahhh ... the healing properties of my spit. My son kept biting his finger at lunch. (I will presume this was an accident.) After each so-called injury I had to kiss the owie finger. Then, magically, the pain left. This happens alot. (the magic spit, not the finger biting...) If my spit is truely that magical, maybe I should write up a marketing strategy and start my own business. "Mom's Magical Spit" I can see it now ... people far and wide will pay money for spit-in-a-jar. Mom's everywhere: UNITE! Start spitting into your jars. I've got a money maker for you!!**

**I don't care what anybody says ... I love the Wiggles. Yes. I said it. I LOVE the Wiggles. They, too are magical. Put a wiggles cd into the stereo, in the kids' room, and they disappear for a long time. Occasionally, I poke my head in there, to be sure they're not bleeding to death, and I stay to dance to a song ... then, off I go again ... by myself ... I love the Wiggles. I don't mind listening to them. I think they're geniuses, really. Either that or really good wizards. I don't really care which .**

I just love those guys.

My Life

"You'll eat what I give you."

"Please put some pants on."

"Let your sister go potty."

"Could I have some privacy in the potty!?" (no)

"Get your bottom back into your bed ... " (said sternly and sometimes annunciated)

"Dance!!"

"I'm not an octopus!" or "Do I look like an octopus?"

"I'm not a jungle gym!" or "Do I look like a jungle gym!?" (yes)

Whatever did they do?

I had the most horrible headache, yesterday. The kids ended up watching t.v. the entire day. I stayed on the couch, drifting in and out of consciousness, all morning. Then, watched movies with them, still from the couch, all afternoon. I was finally feeling well enough to get up and do a little bit, at dinner time. I made dinner, and by then my husband was home. We ate, cleaned up, and put the kids into bed. I'm not completely well, today ... My neck and shoulders feel really tight (the causes of yesterday's headache) and I can tell it's trying to come back. Sooo, while I'm hoping to avoid the t.v. marathon from yesterday, I'm still trying to take things easy and relax ... what a balancing act.

My question is this: While I had t.v. to fall back on, to keep the kids entertained and out of trouble, what would/could I have done without that option? As much as I feel that too much t.v. greatly harms a childs' creativity and overall social development, I must admit to leaning on it, especially at these times. What would I have done, yesterday, if we had no t.v.? What did people (presumable women...) do before the invention of t.v. (or invention of childrens programming)? I could not have sucked it up, yesterday. I needed to rest and really had no choice about it.

I've made my peace with my decision and know that it's likely to happen again. I always feel awful about my child rearing abilities when this happens, but it still happens from time to time. We all fall prey to this, at one time or another ... we're human; we're weak; I know.

An empty floor ...

6am, I look down at the floor (as is my habit), and there are no kids there. All I saw was an empty sleeping bag, unused blankets, and 2 lonely pillows. YESSSSS!!! We were at Lake Michigan, yesterday, picnicking and swimming with friends and family ... if the end result of this activity is children that stay the night in their beds, I vote to do this every day! (Too bad it's an hour and half away, and not very practical.) Miracles do happen.

I've been trying to catch up on chores, today ... right now I should be folding laundry ... I decided to "take a break" instead. haha. I did the dishes, cleaned up the kitchen, and took care of the bills ... I deserve a break, right? okay, so my place is the size of a pin cushion, and the aforementioned chores really aren't very time consuming or
difficult. Let's just pretend they are, okay?

(doorbell just rang)

YAY! The stuff from my Body Shop party just came in ... now I can play with that, instead of folding the laundry. It's my lucky day!! (no worried ... I'm sure I'll get that pesky laundry folded...My son is still pretending to be napping, instead of really napping, so I have extra chore-time, this afternoon.)

Here's a question to ponder, today: What lengths do you go to avoid chores? Do you end up chosing the responsible route, or do you just keep finding otherthings to do?

Replaceable??

**I'm being very introspective today** **Proceed only if you want a glimpse of the voices in my head**

How replaceable are you? I recently read another mother's weblog concerning this very question. It made me think.

When my daughter (my oldest) was 5 months old, I started a new job. I was very excited to be working again ... to be doing something; out in the world. I found a daycare about a mile from where I was to be working, and felt very secure about it. I was impressed with the staff and the facility. My first week of work, they kept gently reminding me that I could call and check on my daughter at any time, or even pop by, during lunch to feed her (I pumped breastmilk daily). Like many mother's, work was my time off; my alone time. While I was always overjoyed to reunited with my daughter, at the end of the day, I was never tempted to call and check in on my bundle of joy. I trusted them, completely. "Take my baby please," I think my subconscious was saying. Looking back on that time, 4+ years ago, I think I felt that these people, these strangers, could do a better job with her, than I could ever do. I was happy that trained and loving individuals were caring for my child. -I was no good at it. ...Or so I thought. Less than two years later, pregnant with my son, I was laid off ... we then discovered that daycare for two young children is veeery price-y. My husband and I decided that it would be better if I just stayed at home ... for awhile ... at least until the baby was 15 months, and fees lowered. Fear gripped me. I was now faced with the very thing that I felt too incompetent to handle; and for the first couple of months at home, I was too ill and too tired (pregnancy doesn't agree with me until the 5th month, or so) to do much with my daughter. Slowly, surely, I began to crawl out of the despair. I found that I might even know what I was doing. I found that staying at home wasn't so bad. I missed working ... I detested (and still do) the stereotypes people place on women who stay at home ... but, suddenly, I was finding my way. My son turned 15 months, and I found myself saying, "I think I'll stay at home awhile longer..." He's just turned two, and I still have no intention of doing "formal work." (I have plenty to keep me busy, inside and outside the home!)

Back to my original thought ... How replaceable are you? As a human on this planet; choir director; committee member; acquaintence; etc.: incredibly replaceable. But, y'know ... as a wife to my husband, a mother to my children, a friend to those who are the closest to me, I'm starting to think that maybe I'm not so replaceable as I once thought. Looking back at certain times in my life, I'm starting to notice patterns of depression and anxiety and inner struggle that plague me. I think I often manage to appear very self-confident and "in control," but, really, I'm one of those people that needs to be given verbal affirmation, alot, or else I don't believe I'm worth much of anything ... to me, anything less than this is likely to affirm my fears that I'm dumb and have no ability to perform in an outstanding manner. Well, the "cloud" is lifting, if only temporarily, and I'm starting to realize that there are some things in this world that nobody else can do. Nobody else can be mama to MY children. Nobody else can love my husband and appreciate him in the ways that I do. Maybe some day I'll wake up and actually believe that there are other things within myself that are not replaceable ... While I do think that part of being irreplaceable is living a life worthy to be lived, I find that it's much much much easier to identify those lovely qualities in other people, all the time, than it is to do so within myself.

How about you? Are you replaceable?

The beauty of a baby animal

We're watching "Good Morning America" right now ... they have Jack Hanna on, this morning. He's brought an assortment of baby animals, today. Baby ostriches, baby skunk, baby porcupine, baby mackaw, baby fox, etc. They are adorable, and apparantly as entertaining as a cartoon. The kids got so excited ... Not suprising, though. We love animals, here. I just got several pictures of animals (ah ... Ikea, how I love thee...), and am putting them up in the kids' room.

I found a bunch of adorable pictures at webshots. If you like baby animals as much as we do, you'll like this!

Meanwhile ... Jack Hanna has come and gone, and the kids are now watching one of their favorites ... Lilo and Stitch (the cartoon series). It's half over, now, and I haven't even taken my shower! I must go, and scrub scrub scrub. :-)

"Mom! We're back in our world!" ~my daughter

We were out and about today, and in an area that we do not go to very often (rising gas prices ...). As we got closer to home, my daughter cries out "Mom! We're back in our world!" What an interesting (and perhaps appropriate) way to put it. I suppose our constant everyday surroundings do constitute as "our world." --Though, personally, I've always thought "my world" exisited mostly in my head, along with those pesky voices ...

I've been away, taking care of many grown-up responsibilities ... in that time, my husband has stepped in a carried my load, for me. In short, for one week, we flipped our roles. I was out doing what I needed to do and fulfilling expectations that were more professional in nature, than not; my husband hung out with the kids and took care of them constantly, allowing me to come and go as I needed. My duties were entirely volunteer (although reimbursed, at least), but very important to me. It meant alot that he was so willing to step into that role. No complaints, no hesitations; a smile on his face; an encouraging word to me. The experience, itself, was so good for me. I look forward to the next two years, as I serve out the term I've been elected to ... adult pursuits are nice to have, when you have two young children that captivate most of your world ...