A Revelation

I. Am. Such. A. Nerd.

I was just looking over the column to the left. The one where I talk about my current (and past) major/minor obsessions. It's pretty clear that I am a major nerd. I wonder when that happened... I've never actually fit in anywhere. I've always been a bit strange. At times, even an outcast. Misunderstood. Bookworm. Music geek. But nerdy? Huh.

I guess I'm okay with that.

Would you be?

Ma-Chine

I have been a machine, this week. The multitude of tasks that I have accomplished is amazing. I always new I could get lots and lots done, if I wanted, but now I have the proof. No more excuses. it is possible. Here is a list of tasks accomplished in the last two days...


*Bills paid (this happens twice a month)
*Account completely up to date (if I wasn't so good at entering things as they occur, this would have been frightening to reconcile)
*re-worked part of our monthly budget (keep your fingers crossed)
*kids room completely cleaned. (this involved a couple of hours of sorting, organizing, vacuuming, and comes complete with a target bag of toys for Goodwill)
*Dishes, dishes, and more dishes (really, a daily task)
*ditto for laundry, folding, etc. (a superhuman feat, always)
*worked out. - cardio & weights (I try for every other day, but settle for 2-3 times a week)
*keeping up with "goal log" at self.com (you should try it ... it really helps)
*last dog obedience class. -- Simon was great!
*took kids to Library (okay, so I do this every week)
*bathed kids (always a good thing to remember to do)

The day isn't over yet. Elizabeth is having her first overnight, here. Tonight. Her friend is hard to feed, because I don't normally feed my kids what I call the "typical kiddie fare." (i.e. hot dogs and chicken nuggets and mac n cheese...) (don't get me wrong ... she's very very polite, but I feel bad serving food a guest doesn't like.) Sometimes I wish I wasn't so aware of the nutritional content of everything. It would be nice to be ignorant, and not so worried about what we put into our bodies all the time. Maybe I'll make pizza. (wheat crust w/flax seed ... I'm such a freak) It should be a winner. We got Ice Princess from the library. I figured that was a good 5/6 year old sleepover movie. It won't drive me completely crazy, either. It's cute. (if you repeat that I said that, I will deny it.)

At Navy Pier IMAX

Toooomorow, tomorrow, I'll see Harry, tomorrow. You're only a daaaay a way ....

(sung to the tune we all know and love, from "Annie")

Oh, and ... NO KIDS!! yea!

Like you're suprised ...

Get this and other HP countdowns at LeakyNews.com

A new chapter

I could begin with the usual apologies on not blogging as often as I once did. But ... life happens, right? So much has been happening, too. I wouldn't know where to begin, so I think I won't even try.

I registered my daughter for kindergarten, last week. I've been meaning to do this for the last 2 months, and just never seemed to get to it. Finally, I found myself at the School District office. I was shocked to discover tears in my eyes, while I out the paperwork. It was only a sheer will that kept me from bursting into tears. What? Where did this come from!? I got to the car, and called my husband, who was working for a huge client New York City at the time. I could barely get the words out before the waterworks started. My oldest is going to school. I had no idea it would effect me so greatly. We've been talking about it since last fall. A natural progression of things. No problem. Clearly I was wrong...

While it may seem like I've had kids for forever, the reality is that its only been 5 1/2 years. Part of me can hardly believe that I will no longer have both kids at home all day. It's overwhelming. Lately, too, she does more on her own. She likes to get the napkins, butter, etc. when we are somewhere at like Panera or Corner Bakery. This might not seem like much, but trust me when I say it's huge.

I'm an Auntie!!

her picture is here

Words cannot express how happy for my brother and how excited I am to meet his daughter. (I get to meet her later today!)

making memories

We don't usually do the whole Mother's Day, Father's Day thing. We tend to focus more on our mom's on Mother's Day, and just try to make Father's Day a slow, no-stress sort of day. This year is an apparent exception. :-)

Last Saturday I had the pleasure of receiving my husband's Mother's Day gift. My husband made several appointments for me at a Spa. I'm sure this is to be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so don't get to too jealous.

As I walked into the building, I remember thinking to myself that the time would pass quickly, so I should enjoy it to it's fullest and make a good memory.

A good memory it is. An incredible memory.

It occurs to me that I should approach much of life this way...

Boring?

Mantra for the dedicated Mother: "I am not perfect. I will not be perfect. Where love and caring exist, I can be me; it will be okay."



This morning I was reading at abcnews and this article caught my attention. It talks about the myriad of responses over a piece that ran in the UK, "Does Raising Children Bore You to Death?" It was written by a stay at home mom. I have not read the actual article, but just a summary ... Needless to say there has been a flurry of response. One such response, "Your lack of parental love borders on child abuse." What!? I wish we could all be so perfect as to never be bored or incredibly un-stimulated by the day-to-day of raising children. The persons making these sorts of remarks (in large droves) need to come over and have a chat with me. Really. You are all invited to dinner. I will tell you about me, my children, my family, and my life in general. You must also stay long enough to watch interaction between me and my children, too. Then, and only then, will you be allowed to judge my parenting ability.

I'm not saying that I'm bored all day every day. Of course not. We have fun together. We paint, play play-dough, color, take walks, go on picnics, etc. But I am an adult. Making a car fall from my head for laughs gets boring after the first minute. Maybe I lack creativity? I can handle that accusation just fine.

Please don't tell me I am a bad parent, based on nothing more than an honest confession. A good parent is never bored? Wow. Then I know ALOT of bad parents. Funny, I've always felt those families to be good, well-adjusted, caring and well-balanced.

Really. To expect, or assume, that someone with my personality-type will always want to play with the kids, do the housework, and smile while I do it? Think again. I don't think I'm Mother-of-the-year, or anything. Hardly. I also don't think that I should "never have re-produced", as some of the comments towards the author of the article in question suggested. Another comment was, "There are some people who are like that. You know, anytime it takes away from themselves, they're not happy and they don't like it." I don't know this person, and I am trying not to judge, but it does not seem as though she understands the point. There's a difference between the selfishness that is being implied through this statement and the simple truth that there is a balancing act between you, the mom, and you the you. Taking away from yourself is not entirely healthy; it's taken me 3 years of staying home to understand this, embrace it, and attempt to do something about it.

Staying at home is the right thing for me and my family, right now. It would be incorrect to suggest that it is a proper and natural match to me. Ha! It has been difficult, to say the least. I am a social person. Outgoing. Extroverted. Staying at home in a nearly efficiency sized condo with 2 kids and a dog, day after day after day after day* ... is not good for me. There have been consequences to this decision that we (my husband and I) have learned we need to recognize and deal with.

Allow me to stress that I am not complaining. While I may lament upon the occasion (this is the last thing I ever thought I'd find myself doing ... I have mentioned the irony, once or twice**), I don't recall ever complaining. I think of the above rant as a statement of fact. Truth. While I may have fallen into this role, due to a lay-off, I did recently have an opportunity to apply for job. Being hired was a very good possibility. It would have been good for me to work again, and I was very interested in the position. I decided that it was not a good move for our family health. My husband agreed. I did not apply. I had a choice, I made it. I will not complain.

Does that mean I totally love being at home? Does this mean that being at home is the best place for me, the person, to be? No. Truthfully, it isn't. Do I get bored? yes. Does it matter that I get bored? No.

It isn't about me. It's about our children; our family. It's about raising our family to be what we feel it can be/should. My wants and needs are secondary to this. Anything less is what's selfish.


*Do not misinterpret. I am not shut inside our apartment all day everyday ... I do get outside .... with the kids ...
**God definitely has a sense of humor.

The dishwasher isn't me!

It's amazing how a dishwasher can become the high point of the day.

This Dishwasher is not mine, but imagine it's black and in my kitchen. --->

Our dishwasher broke almost a year ago. We probably could have called a repairman and had it fixed, but it was old and problematic, anyway. We* decided to simply leave it and start handwashing all the dishes.

On Monday our tax return came. I went out and bought a dishwasher. Yesterday, it was installed. It's pretty. It's new.

Our countertop is now towel-free and dish-free. I think that's what I like the best. Truth be told, I really didn't mind hand washing everything. We keep the dishes rinsed, so it's really not a big deal. What I minded was the resulting clutter on the countertop all the time. Our kitchen is miniscule in size and we need every bit of counter we can get!

In other news ...

Our bedroom windows have to be custom-fit. There's a company that our association recommends, and they are the most familiar with our needs. The kids had a small hole in their screen, which, of course, they put their hands through and made much larger. We've been putting off getting it replaced because we thought it would be quite pricey.** The guy came out and took the screen, Wednesday.*** It will cost us $25. Yep. I'm sure glad we held off sooo long on that one.

After the big dishwasher purchase, we went to Target.*** It was so nice to buy the kids more than to clothing items at once. Don't get me wrong -- most of was still from the clearance rack, or on sale at the very least. But they only need a few more items to set them for the summer. Unless they grow. ha.

We also hope to install new ceiling fans, this weekend. The one's in our rooms have been reduced to one speed only. Ours is fast and the kids is slow. In addition to this our fan has lights that do not work. Seriously. That's how bad the fans are. Last summer the lights stopped turning on. I have never heard of this happening, but sure enough ... there it is. My mom purchased some ceiling fans a few years ago, and then ended up not installing them. She said we could have them. How nice. My husband plans to pick them Saturday morning after his softball game. yay!

*I use the pronoun we loosely, here.
**We're not idiots, we had good reason to think that!!
***See above tax return comment.

Yes ... I have an addiction ...

Have you seen this yet?? It makes me smile. I can hardly wait!!!

Have you seen this, too? It's almost too much, really. July will be an awesome month. We will definitely need a babysitter the weekend Deathly Hallows comes out. I do not want to find out what happens from anyone. I want to read it and be suprised. This means, that I must pick up my pre-reserved copy (my husband had me order 2) at midnight, and start reading.

And then ... I will have to find something else to obsess over. I think I will be sad in August... At least there are still movies to be made. :-)

I wonder, too, if Scholastic books will suffer a decline after the 7th book is released. Maybe I should ask my brother to do a "sociology of the Harry Potter Phenomenon" and ask him to include a bit about the publishers...

Simon goes to school

Yesterday was our first Puppy Obedience Class. The good news: Simon seems to be a quick learner. The bad news: Good Luck curbing the barking, when you have a sheltie. -Our trainer breeds shelties, and has 4 of her own; I figure she knows what she's talking about. Simon does seem to be listening to me better today, though. I've learned a few things about how to relate to him, and I'm sure this has helped. With five more classes to go, we shall see what progress is made.

While Simon was learning the finer aspects of "heel" and "halt", my son was learning "sit." It would appear that Puppy Obedience class is good for training toddler's, too. (the kids have to stay in chairs along the wall, while class is going on ...

related events or cingular incidents?

Tuesday evening my son was complaining of a backache, and then a tummy ache. Just as I was becoming more seriously worried, and fell asleep, snuggling with his sister, while she rubbed his back and sang to him. (Utterly adorable, by the way!) When he woke, over two hours later(!), he was completely fine. End of story.

At bedtime, I heard gagging. Thinking of the early tummy troubles, I dropped everything and ran. My son was sitting in front of the closet door (mirrored doors), with his fingers down his throat. When questioned, he said there was something in his mouth, and pointed to the back of his throat. I saw nothing, and had him drink some water. All better. Story over.

Yesterday, during nap-time, my son went into the bathroom. --I think he saves up during the morning, so he has real reasons to not lie down in his bed. He started crying. I rush back. He has "owwie poo-poo." Now, I would not normally talk about my son's poo-poo, owwie or not ... BUT what happened next is the kicker... He wanted me to hug him, and comfort him, while he sat there. Suddenly he stops crying and say the "owwie poo-poo" is out. He's all done. I look in the potty. There is a nickle (possibly a quarter) in there. At first I think that he's tossed it in there. Then, I look closer. I'll spare you the description of the condition of the coin, but it had clearly been the cause of the owwie. !???! My son is not prone to putting things in his mouth, or swallowing non-food items. This was definitely a chapter from WEIRD.

Related incidents, or isolated occurrences?

bathtubs and other funny-isms

I was in the middle of my shower, yesterday, when I realized I needed the new bottle of conditioner that was under the sink. Of course, I dripped water all over the floor, in my quest for the conditioner. Cest la vie. Worse things have happened. Since my son has become potty trained, I've had to clean/disinfect my bathroom floor so many times, that I wasn't going to bother to do it again for a little bit of water. It'll dry.

Later, after I was dressed, and sitting at the computer, my son comes out to living room (after having gone potty) . Here's the following conversation:

son -- "dah foor id all wedt. I din' do it mama. I don know why id wedt."
me -- "I know, honey. It's from Mamma's shower. Don't worry about it. It's okay."
son -- "keep dah wader in da dtub, mamma! Da wadter sday in da dtub."
me (after I'm done giggling) -- "yes. You're right. Thank you."
son (stern, but forgiving) -- "otay!"

Even now, I'm cracking up as I write this. Can anybody guess what conversations we have when he's taking a bath?!

My Grandfather

My Grandfather died, last week. I wanted to blog, but between preparing the family for the trip to Ohio and my own sadness, I could not. My brother did. He did two blogs about my Grandfather. You can find them here and here.

I always liked my Grandfather's hands. There were big. In the last few years, they always seemed bigger than him, proportionally. I loved that. The were strong hands. Caring hands. Weathered and hard worked hands. When my daughter was a baby, I took this picture.

Grandpa always had a good joke to share. Nevermind that you've probably heard that very same joke the last time you visited, or hec, maybe even an hour ago. Most people didn't mind that, though. It added to Grandpa's charm, I think.

I will never forget the first time he held my son. I think the picture speaks for itself.


Such awe.



He was always afraid that we would forget him. That his great-grandkids wouldn't remember him, from visit to visit. I was always reassuring him that this couldn't be further from the truth. Even now, my son and daughter still have him in their prayers. They still look at his picture, and talk about "pa-pa." I don't think that will change.

I love my Grandpa. I am so fortunate for the realtionship the I (and my family) shared with him.

If you want to get to know who he was ... go to my brother's links post...

getting fit? !

I just fought, and lost, the urge to do crunches. huh!? Who is that person? I have never been very athletic. I made jogging the 13 minute mile an art, in Highschool. (yes, jogging ... sad, I know) Now I'm jogging a little on the tredmill for fun. I'm lifting weights semi-regularly (depends on when a car is available), and am starting to have teensy weensey ab-definition. (only when I clench really hard). Now, I gave in to an urge concerning crunches? And liked it!? Who is that person?

I do notice an extra spring to my step. I can run up the many steep stairs to our apartment and not be winded. A practically bounce up and down them. This morning I noticed some definition in my upper arms. Hooray! The flab is becoming toned!! Maybe I'll start on my legs soon. Maybe I'll like that, too.

weird.

Which would you choose?

Grocery shopping:

Sunday afternoon in a store sooo packed and insane that traffic lights need to be installed ... the trip takes 2 hours, but no kids are with you.

OR

Weekday morning, a few people shopping in a patterned and orderly fashion ... the trip takes an hour, but that's because the kids are with you.

Simon

We bought a dog. No, we did not leave the house, this morning, and say, "let's buy a dog, today." We left the house thinking, "let's go to Home Depot and buy some faucets, and then let's go work out at the gym." Long story short, we went to a pet store to let the kids giggle at the animals, and ended up leaving with a 13 week old male sheltie. My husband says I can name him whatever I want, but that he will call him Simon. So, Simon it is. (I was rooting for "snuffles" or "albus")

I was supposed to send email of pictures to family. I decided it would be easier to post them here. As he is not a child, and neither myself nor my husband, I do not feel I am breaking any of my own rules to post them. :-p

Besides, you'd never understand how darn cute this puppy is if you didn't see him for yourself!!

go figure!

"It's not about winning, it's about playing the game." --my 5 year old.

Maybe I am doing something right ...

reasons why I love Valentines Day

I was recently in an email conversation with my single brother, regarding valentines day. For the most part, I think the whole hting is retarded, but did remember some reasons to like the day. I emailed him my list. His reply was,"Thats really cool about why you like Valentine's Day - thats a GREAT list." So, it occured to me that I'd like to post it here, too...

**Daddy Daughter Date Nights – several years in a row (from about 9-10 years old until 12?? consisting of a park district dance and cookie decorating. Dad would buy me a corsage, hold the doors for me, and take me out for ice cream afterwards. Precious memories, especially now that he is no longer with us.)

**The neat cards we would put on each others plates at dinner, and mom would put out the china?. (my mom says she doesn't remember that china, but I think my brothers and I would do that part...again, when we were younger...)

**Coincidence only (I cannot stress that enough) it’s when my husband proposed. (seriously … completely separate from it being “the day,” as well as being unplanned)

other than that, and those similar things for other's, it’s pretty much a holiday for commercial revenue … people doing for their s/o , and thinking of their s/o in ways that they should strive for all the time.

ON a family level, however, it can be a very endearing holiday, as I discovered recently. My daughter is a very wonderful, loving, and thoughtful 5 year old.


Love is unconditional. Love goes beyond physicality. LOVE, true love, is not limited to romance. True love is experienced in bad times, good times, boring times, regular times ... true love is also not limited to romantic love.

Love is truly one the most powerful forces on earth. May you all experience it. May you all be true to it.

Party in the Potty!!

ANNOUNCING: The Potty Training of my son.

I had been trying to potty train him for some time, and finally decided to back off for a little while. This past Thursday, he got and used the potty by himself. Yes. By himself! Since then he's done a good job of keeping his pull-ups dry. He's worn "big boy pants" a few times, too!

We still have a little way to go, but this is fast breaking news, I needed to share.