clumsy?

Recently, my brother did a 6-word autobiography, on his blog. I thought It sounded like fun, so here's mine:

family singing coffee reading organized-scatterbrain

I mentioned it to my husband, the other night ... he said I wasn't scatterbrained, so I asked him what he would call it. Mentally Clumsy. Since I'm physically clumsy, the thought of being mentally clumsy makes me giggle. I like it.

Is movie magic another digitally enhanced model?

The other night, my husband and I had one of those conversations that are diverse in topic and as deep as it is shallow. It was one of those “we should be sleeping, but ended up talking instead” conversations. Do you know the ones I mean? It was nice. We don’t get much time for major conversation, and even less for meaningful conversation.

At one point he started talking about models in magazines; how they take someone with near impossible looks that have the additional benefit of hair, make-up, and fashion professionals and still manage to find things to digitally enhance, remove, etc. The end product, the magazine photo, projects an image that many women (and girls) spend their lives trying to live up to. He said that chic flick/romantic comedies/any movie romance has that same destructive pattern; just apply them to romance instead of body image. Many of these movies don’t have realistic relationships, or ones that you could really see lasting if you thought about real hard. They set up impossible expectations for romance. He asked me if any of them even seemed real.

While I admit that many of them don’t (no matter how much I like to pretend that they do), there are a few that do feel more real. I used the example of Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy as a movie relationship that seemed as though it could be “real.” He conceded that they do feel more real, but that they still represented an impossible romantic standard, but not with movies … the book came first. I countered with something much more contemporary, but still “real” seeming, and he agreed that however unlikely it may be, the possibility of a real-seeming movie romance does exist.

My husbands analogy of movie romance to magazine models does make a point. I wonder if some of us don't see the romance all around us because we are waiting for that moment. That wonderful, movie-magic moment. Time slows, music swells and women everywhere sigh. Maybe that moment is the equivalent of digitally enhancing the gorgeous model's body. Romance is already gorgeous and it doesn't need the enhancements. Still ... I have to admit, while I've never seen cover models and celebrities as something to aspire to be, I'm not sure I'll be able to stop watching those movies, and sighing at their magic moments.

barely any words to say ...

Have you ever been so impressed and proud of your child that you are moved to tears? My daughter walks around the house (the store, dance class, ...) singing all the time. This morning, however, it's absolutely, totally, completely out of this world. I wish I could record it and put the file here for you to hear her. I can't believe what's coming out of her six-year old mouth. I'm sitting on the couch in shocked amazement with my mouth open, eyes bugged out, tears welling up.
This goes beyond proud parent. She's singing with a strong, clear voice; putting vibrato in all the right places. It's as good as any child-lead in theater.

wow.

"t's a beautiful morning!"

The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. I can have my sliding door open partly. This is what I love. This is what makes me smile and puts a hop in my step. This weather gives me energy. It makes me feel alive and vibrant and well. The chirping birds are key, in this scenario. For some reason, the sun alone does not completely do it for me. In my perfect world, the birds would chirp all winter. Wait. No. In my perfect world, there wouldn't really be much winter. Just enough to have a white December. After that, I'm done. I have to go and color with my son, now. Enjoy the picture! He helped me pick it out.

cannonball!!

I.am.a.genius.

I found a tiny little heart-shaped cookie cutter and made 12 mini peanut butter sandwiches (6 each), for Valentine's Day. It was too cute. I arranged them in a circle with apple slices and put a cadbury egg in the middle. They loved it!! I considered taking a picture so you could all bear visual witness to my genius-ness, but decided it was the sort of beauty only a young child could behold. We spent a portion of lunch-time going through my daughter's first-ever valentine's day bag of candy and cards from school. Also, too cute!!

(now that's my kind of heart!)

too far?

Speaking of appalling, my brother recently blogged on the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. The appalling part is that this is what they have come up with. There's a whole series of posters you can peruse ... I've pasted my favorite one below.

"Stay Cliquey; Stay self-centered; Stay in demand"

I know that it will be a proud moment for me, as a mother, when I can say that my teenage daughter is a cliquey, self-centered individual who is in high demand. My dreams will have all come true in that one shining moment.


Here's a shining example of some of the postcards they are selling ... I won't post it here, I find it to be too offensive for this simple-minded, diaper-changing mother to handle.


In the interest of fairness, I'm sure that these folks have helped out a lot of teens as well as their families. I just think they might want to re-think the direction the current ad campaigns have them running in. Go here or here and make up your own mind.

We are not in China?

Yesterday morning, we opened our front door, and found a note* taped to our door**. Now, we know that association rules do not allow for items to be in the hallway, but we figured (as did many of our neighbors, if their shoes are any indicator) with all the inclement weather that it would be acceptable to leave shoes neatly lined up on our doormat. If this wasn't acceptable, we knew a small reminder note would likely be found next to or inside of our shoes at some point. Apparently, after more than a month of our doing this and who knows how long of several of our neighbor's doing this (one of which has done so every day since they moved in), someone has had enough. It looks very much like our exalted association manager's printing, too. I wanted to leave a nice little message for her, but my husband stopped me. We have managed to live here in relative peace for 7 years, and he is not interested in rocking the boat. I can respect that, so while I thought we should mark our door as the entryway to China, he contemplated putting a sign on the door with the Chinese*** translation of a phrase I will not repeat here. We were also wondering if this indeed a common practice in China, and why this is not common anywhere else. Perhaps the Chinese are the only one's that care about keeping their carpeting free of snow, rain and mud. We must assume that we are quite unschooled. To make any other assumption would be to call the writer of such grand notes ignorant, rude and condescending not to mention offensive, slanderous, and few other adjectives. We would never say such things, however, because our education has apparently been incomplete.

You should also check out the note I found taped to the window between the second and third floors ...

I put with my children not being allowed to play by our building. I put up with being told that my curtains must show white from the outside of the building. I put up with being told what I am and am not allowed to put on my balcony. I put up with being asked to tattle on my neighbors (which I will not do). I put up with being spoken to and treated as though I were three, on a variety of matters. I put up with a balcony that is unsafe for small children to be on. I put up with paying to have my dryer vent cleaned every year when I know that the space the vent occupies legally belongs to the association AND could be done by me for free if I was allowed to put ladder to the side of the building. I put up with the essential monopoly my wonderful association has made for Comcast cable services. I have even put up with being told that if I have to ask permission to use the parking lot when I have more guests than fits into two cars (if you saw the capacity of the parking lot you would understand why this angers me). I even put up with having to pay a $200 pet deposit when I own my home, and cannot figure out what on earth they need that much money for. Enough. Do I live here? I though I had purchased my own home!? I am writing this to vent and make people aware. This is not right but they can get away with it. We know that if we complain, they will find ways to be a thorn in our sides. They can do whatever they want ... they are the association, and by deciding to live here we have agreed to play by their rules.****

I cannot wait to move.


*Not the best picture so here's what it says: "We are not in China, please keep your shoes inside. Thank you."
**this picture is actually of a neighbor's door. My note hit the garbage can too quickly for me to think of grabbing the camera.
***He knows katakana, but I'm guessing he could get the mandarin for what he wants and do pretty well at drawing a representation of it.
****I would like to note that rules are added/amended every year and the way they condescendingly upheld was not covered when we moved in.
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update: My education is so lacking that my husband emailed me some editorial notes. My installation of "why I love my association" now reflects changes as suggested by him.

book peeves ...

Is it just me or does anyone else think that the Bernstein Bear books can get a little too preachy? My husband and I are both particularly tired of reading how Mama knows everything and Papa is dumb and rarely does the appropriate/right thing. What are we really teaching the kids with this message?

We had these books given to us (hand downs) and were happy to have them, at first. They seemed to have valuable lessons in them, and the kids really enjoyed listening to us read them. After awhile, though, we started paying more attention and noticing some of the patterns and formulas in the writing. It's annoying. Worse yet, my son LOVES them. I'm so tired of reading a couple of them, in particular, that I tried to hide them. (I thought about taking the lot to Goodwill, but decided to just to give myself a break from them.) They stayed hidden for about a week, but they seem to have been discovered. We must have at least 30-40 books to choose from ... why do we always have to read the same 3!?

I also hid the Barbie and Dora movie books. That's another pet peeve ... I'd like my kids to experience variety. We have plenty of books that have original stories inside their covers. Why do have to rehash the DVD movie in book form. Every day. Sometimes twice a day. why why why WHY WHY!??! (note: most of our books are gifts ... I'm not sure I would have bought these books, but my children picked them out for themselves.)

Could someone please tell me what's wrong with Dr. Seuss or Fairy Tales or Noah's Ark or Dinosaurs or one of the other many many books on our book shelves!? I know kids like repetition and that it's beneficial for them to have that ... but seriously ... enough is enough!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

an observation

I don't understand people who live for themselves and nobody else.

the end of a tradition

For the last 8 years my husband and I have had the pleasure of hosting a Christmas party. It started out because many of our college friends had scattered and this was a guaranteed time for those living nearby or with family in the area to see each other. One year we decided to branch out and invite all of our friends ... it was a great success! The year after, and all the following years, not so much. At one point we decided that financially, we couldn't do it anymore. To our great surprise (and pleasure), a few people pleaded for it to continue and offered to start bringing food to help out. And so ... we continued. This year ends our tradition and I'm a little sad.

To all of you that are familiar with our annual tradition, I wanted to let you know that it will be no more. We will miss extending the invitation into our home, but know that you are always welcome here.

The clementine ...

This post in response to a family brunch conversation, last Saturday ...

Clementines are citrus. The are in the mandarin family and not to be confused with satsuma. They are not tangerines, although they are sometimes referred to as Algerian Tangerines. Clementines lack the seeds and sourness that tangerines have.

see: wikipedia: clementine; wikipedia: tangerine

I feel better now that I've finally remembered to look this up. In my mind, this case is closed!!

Random thoughts, by me

What I want for Christmas is my condo cleaned, my condo cleaned
YES, my condo cleaned .... (Sing to the tune of My two front teeth)

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random stream of consciousness ....

I wish I had an office. I have work I need to do. The floor in my living room is not entirely conducive to a quiet and thought-provoking environment. Nor is the dining room table, where crayons, paper, and handouts from school reign supreme. My bedroom? eh. Maybe ... but we'd still be talking about working on the floor; we decided a couple of years ago that we had no room for a desk, got rid of it and the large computer. Enter: laptop. It really was a good organizational & space-saving plan, but it does make it difficult to accomplish real work. Ryan always sits on the couch, or works in bed. But ... I have a number of large easel notes to spread around me, along with a couple of binders, and other notes. If I put them on the floor, the dog will trample them, and I'd have to clean ip all the toys. I don't wanna clean. My little brother has offered to come over and watch the kids so I can work. I think the best things to do is to go somewhere that has free wireless there. People with offices, at work and/or at home, have no idea how lucky they are.

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I was gone last week, in Virginia for meetings. I do mean meetingS. (note: capital "S") By estimate I sat through approximately 56 hours of meetings, 5 different committees, over a span of 6 days. I chaired one of those meetings. ANYWAY ... while I was gone, my husband stayed at home with the kids. I thought, for awhile, that he was trying to "outmom" me. Here's the 'short list" of his week: the kids cleaned their room (REALLY cleaned ... not just their version), he took the mounds and mounds of clothing/toys/books from my closet to Goodwill (it's an hour away), ordered parts for and then fixed the bathroom fan, put a new battery in the car, went to book fair night at school, did our first parent-teacher conference, read this blog (hadn't done that in a year?), created a website for us that included a way to download pictures and a calendar that would incorporate our personal calendars and put them into one big one (YES!!), and got two days worth of work done. Keep in mind -- SHORT LIST. yep. I told him, Saturday, when he picked me that I thought he was doing such a great job that maybe I should go away again. (:-p) He said "no way!" He was too tired, and wanted me to take "my job" back. That was something, at least, right? I supposed I should also keep in mind that he was coming to "the job" with new energy. Y'know ... the kind of energetic "let's do it!" attitude that tends to go away after a month or two. Maybe not. Maybe he really could outmom me on a regular basis, but I need to cling to my theory, thank you very much. ;-)
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hmm ... what else ... what else ... Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I'm excited to be able to spend a little more time with my husband. We had some great family time on Sunday, but I really have barely seen my husband since before I left for Virginia. A victim of our schedules, I suppose. We have major family commitments Thursday and probably Friday, but at least we'll be in a room together. Well ... the same house, anyway. That's an improvement.

"stop dressing your six-year-old like a skank"

Good Morning America did a segment on clothing for little girls. Girls my daughter's age. As soon as they "titled" the segment, I wanted to shout "YES!"

Can I buy stock in this book? Better yet, maybe we should all buy a copy and send it to our favorite clothing retailer.

for more, go to this link.

Give. Me. A. Break.

I'm taking this opportunity to register a formal complaint. I was at the mall, this morning. There were Christmas wreaths and greens up at each entrance and trees and other decor being put up inside.

We have sunk to a new low, people. I was willing to (unhappily) put up with decorations out at the start of November; I understand how important the Christmas/Holiday season is to merchants. But, c'mon! For crying out loud, people!!!!!! It's not even Halloween yet. Are you serious!?

Also-- it's difficult to explain to children that Christmas is a looong ways off, when there are decorations in all the stores pronouncing it's arrival. I think 3 (and even 6) is a little young to explain American commercialism and how retailers must worship the almighty dollar....

That's it. That's all I'm going to say (for now). I'm too upset/mad to type on this subject with any amount of logic and intelligence. It's a rant. I know. A short rant. But I mean it!!!!!

toaster oven highs and lows

My husband and I got tired of moving the coffee pot in front of the toaster oven every time we wanted to use it. The springs on the door haven't worked properly, and the coffee pot was large enough and heavy enough to hold it shut. I bought the stripped down cheap $20 model, to replace it. It is also most like the one now residing in our dumpster. Here's the commentary on how change goes ... the model it replaced cost about $50, nine years ago.

There is a small problem with the new kitchen gadget ... The old one didn't get very hot, externally. I could put our coffee pot on top of it, paper towels at it's side, and a set of knives (in a wooden block) nearby. I don't have very much counter space, so this arrangement (precarious as it may sound) was vital ... I still keep the paper towels close by, but not touching. The coffee maker and knives have now been relegated to the previously appliance-free counter. I am not happy. I only have three small counter tops. I was re-evaluating the kitchen space yesterday; couldn't figure out a solution. Should a get rid of the microwave? The knives? Coffee pot?* That's it. Those are the choices. The cookbooks are stacked on top of the microwave, and there isn't enough room between it and the cabinet for anything else, anyway ... that's out ... The coffee pot is used everyday, sometimes twice. It would be ridiculous to store it the way I do the 10 cup pot. We're planning to put the condo on the market in the next 6 months. How do I make it look like there's space in the kitchen!? We've been fairly creative about space** around here ... but this time I haven't a clue. Do you?


*If you know me, you likely understand the absurdity of that thought. :-p
**Here are some examples of our creativity:
exhibit A-- We've turned the water heater closet into a pantry (it's "in" the kitchen)
exhibit B-- Printer=under piano, wireless connection=top of wardrobe; hidden by pictures.
exhibit C--Beautiful dark wicker baskets in the living room tastefully house toys.

More words that aren't my own

I'm full of commentary and information that someone else wrote, this morning ... but this was an interesting commentary that I wanted to share. **
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The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a crèche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?

I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.

**This has been edited ... I went to snopes.com and discovered Ben Stein only wrote part of my orginal post. It now reads as he actually wrote it. :-)

New Illinois Law

I got this from a listserve I'm on ... it was in the Chicago Tribune. Thoughts? Comments? I'm pretty interested in what people think of this ... The actual law (as it is worded) appears at the end of the article.

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October 12, 2007

SPRINGFIELD

State lawmakers moved Illinois to the forefront of the national school-prayer debate Thursday, requiring public schools to provide students with a brief moment of silence at the start of classes.

The House joined the Senate in voting to override Gov. Rod Blagojevich's veto of legislation mandating the period for "silent prayer or for silent reflection on the anticipated activities of the day."

The governor had said he believes in the "power of prayer" but worried the law could erode the barrier between church and state.

"This was never about trying to require prayer in the schools," said Rep. Will Davis (D-Homewood), a lead sponsor of the new law. "This is a way for teachers and students to [start] their day off in the right way."

Legal experts said the law, which turns the moment of silence from an option to a requirement, is likely to survive any constitutional challenges. But educators predicted there will be huge problems in enforcing the mandate because teachers and other administrators will have to sort out how to deal with students who ignore it. The law does not contain any penalties for non-compliance.

The law takes effect immediately, and school districts will get a notice from the State Board of Education shortly, a spokesman said.

In Chicago, that would be a big change because administrators know of no schools currently setting aside time for silent meditation.

Since the U.S. Supreme Court struck down mandatory school prayer in 1962, about three dozen states have passed legislation authorizing school districts to set aside up to five minutes of quiet time at the beginning of the school day. The big battle in most states has been over what students are supposed to do during that time. In Alabama, the courts struck down a law because legislators made it clear they wanted the time used exclusively for prayer and not other options such as using the time for silent meditation or reflection.

To avoid legal problems, most states have been moving to a "a neutral moment of silence" that has been upheld by the courts, said Rob Boston, spokesman for Americans United for Separation of Church and State, a Washington, D.C., group. "We don't like them, but generally speaking the courts are more receptive to that idea."

In 2000, a U.S. District Court upheld a Virginia law that required all public schools to observe a moment of silence. Eleven states make such moments mandatory, while 23 others leave the decision to students, teachers and local school boards.

Illinois jumped on the bandwagon in 2002 with a law that allowed for a moment of silence but did not require it.

Sen. Kimberly Lightford (D-Maywood), chairman of the Senate Education Committee, said she sought to make the moment mandatory this year after visiting schools in her district and finding that some teachers provided students with a moment of school silence and some didn't.

Perhaps to avoid court battles, supporters of the measure tiptoed around the topic of school prayer, raising defenses that clearly rankled critics who see the new law as a way to sneak state-sanctioned prayer back into public schools.

Lightford said the quiet time at the beginning of a school day could provide children with a chance to wrestle with difficult personal issues such as abuse or bullying. She and another lawmaker suggested students might even summon the courage to stop another student from rash or violent acts, such as this week's school shooting in Cleveland.

In House debate, Rep. Monique Davis (D-Chicago), a sponsor of the proposal and a former educator, said children are bombarded with too much noise in society.

"But do they ever have a moment of silence to reflect, to listen to the rustling of the leaves, to listen to the chirping of a bird?" she asked.

Rep. Lou Lang (D-Skokie), who voted against the measure, said the only people who lobbied him on the bill were preachers, priests and rabbis.

"This doesn't mandate school prayer, but let's face it -- that's what this is about," Lang said.

Many clergy members welcomed the move.

"We support the wholesome value of time to pause and reflect each day as a matter of good hygiene," said Wayne Miller, Lutheran bishop for Chicago.

But the notion of a mandate did not sit well with other religious leaders, including those who approved of the general intent.

"There are too many things that people are trying to mandate for us, and I think that being allowed to practice our own spirituality when we want to, in our own setting, is more important," said Asayo Horibe, president of the Buddhist Council of the Midwest.

Local school officials were divided. Michael Vaughn, Chicago Public Schools spokesman, said the district took no position on the law but is committed to figuring out the best way to comply and to "make sure that we are sensitive."

Michael Johnson, executive director of the Illinois Association of School Boards, said he foresees conflicts popping up all over the state as schools start implementing the new law, which is expected to happen in the next few weeks.

"If a student decides not to observe it, does that mean the teacher can take action against the student?" Johnson said. Eventually, Johnson predicted, disputes will wind up in court when some school district tries to suspend a student who disobeyed the mandate.

Kitty Ryan, an assistant superintendent for Naperville School District 203, said the district has never told students they couldn't pray silently but has been careful never to endorse a certain religion.

"I'm thinking about a 1st-grade teacher with a room full of students. ... She's going to be wondering 'What exactly am I supposed to be telling these little guys to be thinking about?'" Ryan said.

Other educators questioned lawmakers' priorities, noting that the House, which voted 74-37 to override, has yet to send schools all the money they are entitled to under the recently approved budget.

"We already have the ability to have a moment of silence," said Don Schlomann, superintendent of St. Charles schools.

"I wish they would focus on the things they haven't finished."

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The new state law

"In each public school classroom the teacher in charge shall observe a brief period of silence with the participation of all the pupils therein assembled at the opening of every school day. This period shall not be conducted as a religious exercise but shall be an opportunity for silent prayer or for silent reflection on the anticipated activities of the day."

Happy Happy Happy

Summer and winter are not for me. Ah fall, sweet fall! How I love thee.

I love the in-between seasons. Spring and fall. The air is crisp. No heat or air conditioning is needed, so I can sit in the living room and listen to all the sounds. Even the sound of cars passing by on the busy road outside make me happy. I hear crickets and birds, too. This will probably put me in a good mood all day. I just hope we don't have another heatwave. It was mid-to-high 80's yesterday with a million percent humidity. YUCK. Today is what I love. High of 60 degrees. Jeans are comfortable not sweat producing. A sweater or light jacket is great outside. And although my toesies are slightly ice-y, I'm still wearing my flip-flops. (I really do not care for shoes and socks!) yep. I'm happy today.

first day of school

Getting off of the bus, on her first day of school. This is such an important milestone in our lives, that I'm posting a picture of my daughter! If you want to see more, I have a flickr.com account. It's marked "private," so, you'll need to send a request (via flicker) to be added to my acceptable viewers list.

I'm so proud of her. She's taking to school like it's the most natural thing in the world. No major adjustment, no whining. My son cried when she got on the bus, the first day, a little less the second day, and not at all today. Not as bad as I was braced for. (I have to admit to a few tears, myself, on that first day. But I held out until after she was gone, and I was away from the bus stop!)